ACCESSORIES OF A MIDDLE SCHOOL MOM - PARENT ORIENTATION


 

While most of my friends are parents to children old enough to vote, I am wading in the waters of puberty in all its splendor. Don’t get me wrong, I love my middle schooler, and he has been a blessing to me and my husband. I am one of the oldest amongst my son’s classmates’ parents. In fact, I think I am THE oldest. So that should make me the wisest, right? Well, guess what? Age ain’t nothing but a number. I got married at 31 and waited to start a family five years in. By then, I did not realize that I was old. Or as the fertility specialist like to say advanced maternal age. After struggling for four years to have a child, we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy, my only. I had a great pregnancy, healthy and no complications. Being an older mother has its advantages: Although I’ll volunteer to bring all the water and fruit for the class holiday party or swim team, I won’t be winning any volunteer of the year awards. As a “mature” mom, it forces me to stay active and young. There’s a difference between “Is THAT your mom” and  “Is that YOUR mom?” I will run a marathon to preserve my life so I won’t be a burden to my son later in life. Yes, I’m a planner. If you believe in horoscopes, it’ll come as no surprise that I’m a Virgo. I’ve secretly mapped out my son’s next 10 years and stashed it away in my brain’s hippocampus — don’t judge me y’all. 

 

What I wasn’t prepared me for was the wild ride of being a middle school mom. The increase in grocery bills. The sarcastic humor.  Going from public displays of affection to “stop you're embarrassing me.”  Some days I wish I could get off this rollercoaster or borrow the DeLorean time machine from Back to the Future and set it back to 2018 when things were simpler. But then, I’d have to relive this middle school thing all over again.

 If you’re a parent to a rising middle schooler, welcome to the club. Your membership includes gray hairs, puffy eyes, unlimited wine, a lifetime supply of excitement, worries, love, and a bond with other parents who understand you, including me. Wear your accessories (gray hairs, puffy eyes, FUPA) with pride and enjoy the benefits that this club has to offer.